you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
