i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I skipped work to stalk him.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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