Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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