That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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