4 words: hood of his car
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
