Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
