dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
