Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
