The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
