i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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