Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
