TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Farmville is her only friend.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
