Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
