i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
