I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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