The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
