Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
