Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
