i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
