someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
