How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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