FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
