Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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