Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
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No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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