Your face is a jimmy john
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
there is glitter all over my balls
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