so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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