i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
