The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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