you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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