I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm passing your future prison.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
