Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
