After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
