so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Someone shattered a urinal.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
