So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
