hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
