so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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