Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
