a search helicopter?!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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