Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
