We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He felt like a one man threesome
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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