New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize