no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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