he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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