I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
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Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
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I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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