dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
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He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
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