My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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