We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
