her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
