i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
