ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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