I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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