So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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