Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong

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(956): View more from Texas

You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.

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(207): View more from Maine

my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out

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(770): View more from Georgia

How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.

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(954): View more from Florida

Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven

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(702): View more from Nevada

Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.

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