so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
