who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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