I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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